White Patio Furniture
July 10th, 2011
White is being increasingly used nowadays for bedroom furniture and even in other rooms like living room. This is because people have realized how white bedroom furniture has an impact on the overall dAcor of the 00004000 room. Although, you cannot achieve a look of grandeur with white furniture like the way you can have with dark wood bedroom furniture, but still the look and the atmosphere white dAcor gives, is worth considering the option.
You cannot ask if white furniture is suitable or not as suitability is not in question here as white is a color that you can put in every room and expect it to look good. You can question the looks of the overall dAcor with white bedroom furniture and other furniture pieces but actually, it depends how you adorn the white furniture and how well you decorate your home. It is your creativity that is required here, which you can use in countless ways if you have white furniture. Unlike the dark wood furniture, in which your creativity has to be limited as you cannot try different combinations of colors and you have to stick with the subtle colors to go with dark shades of the furniture, your creativity is not limited with white colored furniture.
For a master bedroom, white bedroom furniture is very rarely used but when it is, it simply inspires awe especially if the white bedroom furniture is adorned well. White bedroom furniture sets for the master bedroom are especially for small rooms as the white color make the room look spacious and it lights up the room. if you try to stuff in dark wood furniture in small rooms, then the furniture looks daunting. In a master bedroom, the white bedroom furniture sets can be adorned with dAcor consisting of diamantes and crystals. A large crystal lamp on each side of the bed looks amazing. The head board of the white bed can be made with leather of some different color, to have a combination. Although for a master bedroom, you have to stick with simple looks of the bedroom furniture sets, but you can add separate decoration pieces that add to the glory of the white furniture. The bedspreads can be colorful and attractive making the white color lively. The other decoration pieces should also be of different colors. The curtains of the room need not necessarily be white as you can have any other color that suits well in combination.
For children's bedroom, the white colored bedroom furniture can be adorned in different ways. For girls, the white furniture can have painted princesses, flowers and butterflies. For boys, the room can have decoration with soccer balls and cars. you can stick with the simple white bedroom furniture for the children's room and then decorate the walls and the ceiling with whatever color and designs that you want. This gives a good look to the room.
Although white is a good color for home furniture, but make sure you don't select white for theme of your every room as it would look monotonous and boring.
Frequently Asked Questions
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QUESTION:
Why are bees chewing on my white cedar patio furniture?
I've noticed several times, bees "chewing" grooves on my cedar deck furniture. They slowly take the top layer off revealing a light brown trough down the weathered gray color my furniture has naturally taken on.-
ANSWER:
some bees chew holes in wood deep and deep enough to hide inside the wood get a wax spray that has chyanne pepper in it and spray a damp cloth to put on it bees wont chew peppers
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QUESTION:
Rust White painted cast iron patio furniture and iron gates?
I have small areas of rust showing up on both. The Iron gate is coated but in tiny areas of the weld there are spots of rust. The furniture is coated white and the rust appears minute areas. How do I maintain?-
ANSWER:
The easiest way is with rust converter. It's a spray or brush on product that chemically converts rust into an inert primer like finish that can be painted over and prevents future rusting. Here's a link to a good retailer but you can also find it at any automotive parts and supply house or probably even Walmart.http://www.gemplers.com/product/127787/Spray-on-Rust-Converter
Edit: Note, the rust converter will not work on surfaces that are not rusted so in your case I'd recommend a can and a small brush just to cover the areas that need protection.
And hey NeoNerd Live and learn brother, just think of all that good exercise you got without having to pay to go to the gym.
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QUESTION:
Looking foir painting seen in shop in Lake District - outdoors,summer,patio, white furniture,overhanging plant-
ANSWER:
Hi! what's the town called? If it's near Keswick or Penrith I might be able to help you.feel free to mail me lauraoomens@yahoo.co.uk
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QUESTION:
How can I get pine sap off my patio furniture?
It has left white stains everywhere. Is there a quick way to disolve?-
ANSWER:
You can get pine sap off of anything with peanut butter. Even kid's hair.
Yes, I'm a mom.
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QUESTION:
should we change the patio furniture color (pics)?
http://s303.photobucket.com/albums/nn132/timeinabottle1974/?action=view¤t=DSCN0013.jpgwe have two different colors of furniture on our patio. i want to change the white tables to black. the rest of my family does not. what do you think?
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ANSWER:
The black ones get REALLY hot in the sun. Hot enough to brand your butt. Keep it white and no one gets burned.
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QUESTION:
Can you paint resin outdoor furniture?
My white patio chairs are dirty looking, and I've tried so many things to clean them to no avail. Any suggestions?-
ANSWER:
Yes. First wash thoroughly with TSP and water. Paint with Krylon Fusion spray paint.
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QUESTION:
Making a cleaner, will this work?
Will bleach react with vinegar if I mix the two with water? Trying to clean white resin patio furniture.-
ANSWER:
I wasn't sure if you could mix the two. I looked it up and it's probably not a good idea. The website that I found says that "Bleach and vinegar should not be mixed, especially in quantity, because it creates a toxic gas that could be deadly."I would either do bleach water or vinegar water, not mixed. Your health is more inmportant than white patio furniture!
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QUESTION:
How do I get paint off the floor of my bathtub?
Last night I took a shower after a long day of painting patio furniture. Some of the speckles of paint that were stuck to me ended up on the floor of the tub - the paint is black and my tub is white ceramic.Since last night, I have scrubbed the tub (while wet & while dry) with a heavy duty scrubber, and with cleaning chemicals, but the most the paint will do is smear.
Any suggestions how to remove it?
Thanks!
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ANSWER:
There is a pruduct called OOPS Multi-Purpose remover. You can buy it almost anywhere. Girl once you've used this you won't want to be without it. Get it.
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QUESTION:
Treatment of wood exposed to sun and rain?
I desparately need advice on how to treat a sun deck and my wooden garage doors and patio furniture which is exposed to the elements. The front door was merely varnished when it was installed and now, 5 months later, the varnish has become brittle and is flaking. It has also faded and has 'burnt' to an opaque white colour. Obviously, this has to be removed thoroughly. I was told to put 4 coats of varnish thinned with turps at the ratio of 75:25%. This should dry thoroughly between coats. Only thereafter do I apply two coats of varnish. This was not done initially. I am not certain whether this really works and obviously I don't want to spend more time and money on this task if it is not the correct treatment.PLEASE, is there some kind person who can tell me what the real proper treatment is. I know there must be a way. After all, how do people protect their yachts and sundecks at the sea?
Thank you in advance for everybody's input, it is going to be much appreciated.
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ANSWER:
I suggest this website as a reference often because they are trustworthy and easy step by step illistrated instructions on how to remove paints and varnish.It's a trusted website and it will surely help you out.
Hartnagel Building Supply
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QUESTION:
Decorating a patio on a Budget!?
Okay so i have a budget of 00 to redecorate the patio. We will be installing new flooring but that is not included in the budget. So my question is where can you get nice patio furniture and decor without the outrageous prices!? I live in Surrey, B.C., (Vancouver area) Also does anyone know of any good websites that have inspirations pictures of really well done patios?? I did not think it would be this hard! Thanks for your help ! Btw i've tried looking online at Home Depot, Jysk, Costco... and the theme that i was thinking was like a white and stone island, what do you think?-
ANSWER:
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QUESTION:
Cocktail reception ideas help?
We will be getting married on New Years at 11am. So it'll be a hot summer. We dont want people sitting down stewing in the heat and have decided on a standup cocktail reception. It'll be on the verandah and part of the pool patio. 40 guests Question is id like to set up a couple of bar tables, just a few so people can sit down , how many would i hire? I was thinking of dragging out my inlaws white cane patio furniture and making a lounge area? Is this a good idea also. We'll be stringing up a white tarp for extra shade too.
Any links or idea's or layout would be wonderful thankyou.-
ANSWER:
You will need some seating and some shade areas. Elderly/older folks can't stand around in the heat that long.You could do small conversation grouping of chairs and small tables to set glasses on. Rent or buy, one/some pop up tents for shade if there is not any natural (trees, patio cover etc) cover. People who are hot and don't have anywhere to sit, are going to leave after a while.
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QUESTION:
furniture arrangement ideas for a small bedroom?
i have a patio in the back of the room and only two available walls i got the furniture i have a twin sized bed tall white shelf for things that would ordinarily go on i a dresser and for dvds,books,cd's etc...then i have wall shelves a tv and a computer desk how can i arrange all this? im going for a minimalist style you know something that will leave ALOT of space and that will make my room look like it only has a few things in it-
ANSWER:
Some fantastic inspirational ideas are in the link below. Check it out.
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QUESTION:
if you are bored here are some suggestions?
-Wax the ceiling-Rearrange political campaign signs
-Sharpen your teeth
-Play Houdini with one of your siblings
-Braid your dog's hair
-Clean and polish your belly button
-Water your dog...see if he grows
-Wash a tree
-Name your child Edsel
-Scare Stephen King
-Give your cat a mohawk
-Purr
-Mow your carpet
-Play Pat Boone records backwards
-Vacuum your lawn
-Whine
-Rake your carpet
-Re-elect Richard Nixon
-Critique "Three's Company"
-Listen to a painting
-Play with matches
-Buff your cat
-Race ferrets
-Paint your house...Day-Glo Orange
-Have a formal dinner at White Castle
-Read Homer in the original Greek
-Change your mind
-Change it back
-Learn Greek
-Watch the sun...see if it moves
-Stand on your head
-Stand on someone else's head
-Build a pyramid
-See how long you can stay awake
-See how long you can sleep
-Spit shine your Nikes
-Paint your teeth
-Wear a salad
-Speak with a forked tongue
-Get your dog braces
-Shave a shrub
-Have a proton fight
-Watch a car rust
-Quiver
-Rotate your carpet
-Learn to type...with your toes
-Set up your Christmas tree in April
-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
-Be someone special
-Mail it to a friend
-Go back to square one
-Factor your social security number
-Take the fifth
-Memorize a series of random numbers
-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
-Join the Foreign Legion
-Learn Sanskrit
-Exist...existentially, of course
-Print counterfeit Confederate money
-Kick a cabbage
-Take a picture
-Sandpaper a mushroom
-Put it back
-Play solitaire...for cash
-Abuse your patio furniture
-Run for Pope
-Count to a million...fast
-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
-Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
-Revert
-Think shallow thoughts
-Sleep on a bed of nails
-Boil ice cream
-DON'T toss and turn
-Run around in squares
-Think of quadruple entendres
-Speak in acronyms
-Have your pillow X-rayed
-Drink straight shots...of water
-Calmly have a nervous breakdown
-Give your goldfish a perm
-Fly a brick
-Play tag...on 35W
-Exorcise a ghost
-Be blue
-Exercise a ghost
-Be red
-But don't be orange
-Paint stripes on a lake
-Ski Kansas
-Sleep in freefall
-Kill a Joule
-Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
-Apply for a unicorn hunting license
-Do a good job
-Crawl
-Invite the Mansons over for dinner
-Paint your windows
-Watch a watch until it stops
-Flash your goldfish
-Paint
-Smile
-Paint a smile
-Flirt with an evergreen
-Rotate your garden...daily
-Shoot a fire hydrant
-Pretend you're blind
-Apologize to it
-Plant a shoe
-Sweat
-Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
-Turn
-Take your sofa for a walk
-Write a letter to Plato
-Mail it
-Start
-Stop
-Dial 911 and breathe heavily
-Go to a funeral...tell jokes
-Play the piano...with mittens on
-Starch your shoes
-Polish your Calvin's
-Contemplate a cockroach
-Get a dog to chase your car
-Investigate the Czar
-Let him catch it
-Form a political party
-Climb a sidewalk
-Have a political party
-Get diagonal...with a good friend
-Ride a loaf of bread
-Sharpen a carrot
-Interrogate a gerbil
-Annoy yourself
-Get mad at yourself
-Stop speaking to yourself
-Be a side effect
-Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
-Duck
-Redecorate...your garage
-Develop a complex
-Join the Army...be someone simple
-Try harder
-Hit the deck
-Put leg warmers on your furniture
-Cut the deck
-Scheme
-Sit
-Water your family room
-Stay
-Cause a power failure
-Roll over
-Wriggle
-Play dead
-Donate your brother's body to science
-Find a witch
-Ask why
-Burn her
-Regress
-Sleepwalk without sleeping
-Go bow hunting for Toyotas
-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
-Jump back
-Play to lose
-Scalp a street light
-Have your car painted...plaid
-Read a tomato
-Sharpen your sleeping skills
-Watch a game show...take notes
-Put out a fire
-Interview a cloud
-If you can't find a fire, make one
-Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
-Play basketball...in a minefield
-Crumple
-Translate Shakespeare into English
-Skydive to church
-Cheer up a potato
-Do aerobic exercises...in your head
-Play cards with your swimming pool
-Pinstripe your driveway
-Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
-Harness chipmunk power
-Build a house with ice cubes
-Call London for a cab
-Mug a stop sign
-Change your name...daily
-Go for a walk in your attic
-Challenge your neighbor to a duel
-Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
-Wonder
-Be a square root
-Ask stupid questions
-Weld your car doors shut
-Spew
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ANSWER:
I can't believe you left out farting. That is a great past time. Try it.
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QUESTION:
siamese mixx: stray i adopted...?
robin is a gorgeous siamese mixx that i adopted.he was a stray and during one summer he hung around the backyard and i left a can of cat food for him to eat. i also saw him catch and eat a field mouse.
when october came we had a freezing wind storm and i was driving past my neighbors house and saw robin sleeping on their patio furniture.....
i walked up and ask if he was ready to go home.....omg !!!! he wanted to go into my house, i fed him, got him fixed and got him his shots.....
i noticed two years later, his beautiful face is getting white hairs growing, i thought he was maybe two - three years old. but the white hairs make me thing that he is much older.....
what say you /????
thanks kato.... when robin was fixed i did ask the vet to estimate his age and even looking at his teeth, they could not determine his age.i guess im ok...robin is a beautiful, fat cat and a very loving one at that.....
but im beginning to think that he might be pushing 7 - 8 years old..................
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ANSWER:
He may indeed be older than you think. When you took him to the vet's for his shots and surgery, did they give you any indication of his age? When you take him for his next appointment, ask them, because there are ways to evaluate his age, give or take a few years.Maybe he is pre-maturely greying, in a very distinguished sort of way....
By the way, I think that bringing this cat into your life is a blessing for both you and the cat. Good for you.
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QUESTION:
can you stand 30 more?
Memorize a series of random numbers-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
-Join the Foreign Legion
-Learn Sanskrit
-Exist...existentially, of course
-Print counterfeit Confederate money
-Kick a cabbage
-Take a picture
-Sandpaper a mushroom
-Put it back
-Play solitaire...for cash
-Abuse your patio furniture
-Run for Pope
-Count to a million...fast
-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
-Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
-Revert
-Think shallow thoughts
-Sleep on a bed of nails
-Boil ice cream
-DON'T toss and turn
-Run around in squares
-Think of quadruple entendres
-Speak in acronyms
-Have your pillow X-rayed
-Drink straight shots...of water
-Calmly have a nervous breakdown
-Give your goldfish a perm
-Fly a brick
-Play tag...on 35W
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ANSWER:
lol
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QUESTION:
What colour wall paint goes with dark brown leather furniture?
This is the set we're looking at buying for the family room:
http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11482637&whse=BC&Ne=4000000&eCat=BC|93|77207&N=4031847&Mo=153&No=1&Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&cat=77207&Ns=P_Price|1||P_SignDesc1&lang=en-US&Sp=C&topnav=Our walls are currently white on top, blue on the bottom.
The blue is "Utah Sky" (the last colour sample):
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nN1D3OKL9Yw/S-oGJMg9WfI/AAAAAAAACys/PELNM1d3g7M/s1600/paint+colors+for+dining+room.jpgWe have hardwood flooring that's very similar to this:
http://www.lumberliquidators.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=7923&categoryId=6§ionId=1&subCategoryId=646If it helps, we have a high sloped ceiling, and a lot of natural light coming in from windows and the patio door. The kitchen (same room, separated by a counter/cabinets) has cabinets with the same wood stain as the floors and this colour granite countertop: http://www.palermocontracting.com/files/QuickSiteImages/counter2.jpg
We'd like to keep the white on top, but what bottom colour would look good?
Please include detailed answers and pictures, if possible.
Thank you! -
ANSWER:
Beige , greens or yellows
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QUESTION:
what color(s) of curtain to put up?
my place is small with yellow paint on the wall and white on the ceiling, 3 windows (one each for the living room and kitchen and a patio window), beige carpet, and dark brown furnitures. please help...-
ANSWER:
No more neutrals for you! Any color will match what you have right now: blue, purple, green, orange, red, pink, etc...Check out some of these area rugs for ideas on colors that will work with yellow:
http://www.homedecorators.com/Rugs/color/174/Yellow_Rugs/
I especially like the blue used in the Rainbow Palette Area Rug.Another great source for finding colors that work together is artwork:
http://homedecorators30.artselect.com/search2/openct11074~3D11079~2C221~26t~3Db-c221/Yellow.html
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QUESTION:
Please help i'll pay Thanks?
1.In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can correctly say that
A.oak is often used to make ships, while maple is often used for furniture.
B.both maple and oak trees lose their leaves in the fall.
C.acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren't.
D.unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines.
Question 2 is based on the following paragraph.
(1) My family has a quaint cottage at a small, private lake. (2) The cottage is about 75 years old, but we try to keep it in good condition. (3) The outside is white with green trim on the windows and shutters. (4) In front of the cottage
is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio. (5) The patio itself is right next to the water. (6) Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small rowboat tied. (7) Every summer, my family sets aside a week when we all get together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.
2.What purpose do sentences 3-6 serve in this paragraph?
A.They provide supporting details.
B.They show cause and effect.
C.The illustrate a strong comparison.
D.They explain events in chronological order.
Questions 3 and 4 are based on this passage. The sentences are numbered to help you answer the questions.
(1) Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air? (2) Does nature restore your spirits? (3) You might want to consider hiking as a hobby. (4) It's a hobby you can begin with very little expense. (5) All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.
3.The topic sentence in this paragraph is sentence number
A.1. C. 3.
B.2. D. 4.
4.The first sentence in the paragraph helps to ______ the main idea of the paragraph.
A.specify
B. explain
C.delay
D.introduce-
ANSWER:
how much are you paying?
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QUESTION:
decorating help (windows)?
i'm decorating my house for the 1st time. i'm going for a japanese/minimalistic look throughout the house. can anyone give me some ideas of what i should put on my windows?this is what i have so far in my living room:
black leather sofa & chair
black lamps with cream shades
all dark wood furniture/tables (world market style)
lucky bamboo in a tall glass vase (filled with black pebbles
currently the windows have white wooden blinds on them. i can't decide the color/style, but i like brown/blue as i have decorated my bedroom in white and brown with accents of blue. there is also a patio window that needs to be covered.-
ANSWER:
I'd go with either bamboo shades or brown/blue "rice paper" shades.
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QUESTION:
CAN SOMEONE PLEASEEE READ THIS FOR ME???HOW SHOULD I END IT?
any grammar mistakes? is it good? how shoul i end it??im so confused!!Architecture during the Colonial America
During the time that North America was being colonized, early European settlers brought various traditions of architecture from their homelands. They incorporated the styles of building in Europe to the homes in colonial America. The early architecture varied throughout many regions of the country. The houses built by British settlers in the northeastern coast vastly differentiated from the houses that the French built in the Mississippi valley.
The location of the houses had evolved from the type of climate and resources that were available. The settlers in the north regions had larger fireplaces with the chimney located in the center to spread heat evenly throughout the house due to the cold winters, whereas the southern houses had the fireplace at the end due to the humid climate. A man who came from a windy and cold part of a European region built his house low to the ground, triple the width, and without a second story. Those who came from salubrious climate produced a liking with a loft or a second story. This is one of the main reasons why the types of houses varied across the regions.
The most distinctive type of houses was of the Georgian styles which were inspired by the renaissance rediscovery of Greece and Rome. This particular style reflected wealth and cultivated beauty of the eighteenth century. The southern regions of colonial America are where most of these designs of houses were found. The basic features that define a Georgian style house are its square symmetrical shape made from brick and stone, central arched door, and several double-hung windows aligned on its first and second floor. Two chimneys would be located exactly across from each other. The houses were mostly built of bricks with some trimmings of wood. The overall house was painted white or sometimes in crème color. The main door usually composed of a decorative crown that gave it an elegant look. All of these proportioned features of the home were topped off with a gabled or flat roofs made from bricks.
Upon entering the main doorway, you would find a hallway that leads to the stairway to the second floor. The second floor consists of all of the bedrooms which were paneled floor to ceiling with painted pine. The first floor usually has a spacious living room, formal dining room, and some have a family room. A fireplace would be seen at the end of the house to deplete the heat generated in the summer by the constant need for cooking fires. The floors were made of wooden planks and were waxed, which gave it an overall glossy appearance. The walls were decorated with large mirrors that reflected light that came in through the large windows. Family portraits would be hung in each corner. The colors of the furniture were warm and inviting throughout the entire house. Most of the furniture’s were made of damask, silk, velvet, and chintz. Most of the furniture was imported in the houses of the wealthy. Almost all of the imported furniture was made from walnut and mahogany. A wing chair and a tilt-top table were spotted near the corners or centers of living rooms.The backside of the house had a classic southern porch. The patio was built with wood, wicker, and maple.
These were the Georgian style houses that the wealthier colonies lived in. Whereas the poorer colonist’s houses were usually unpainted, made from wood, single story, and was furnished with simpler furniture. The average colonists made their furniture with wood from nearby forests. The most common furniture in an average colonist Georgian homes consisted of a wooden table or two, shelves, long benches, and a few stools. Eating utensils were scarce in the kitchen. Farmers would provide the family with knifes, forks, and spoons that were made from bone, wood, or iron. The richer colonists provided their families with many different kinds of foods such as, Beef, pork, and other meats were produced on the place. The lower class had most of the same diet, but in a smaller quantity.
Despite all the time working hard labor, the early colonists found plenty of time for games, socializing, tastes, and religious activities. Most of the boys participated in games that tested their skills like racing, swimming, wrestling, jumping, and shooting contests. Most families homes had billiard tables and shuffleboards. Younger children enjoyed playing with marbles, tops, and “pinching pennies”. The more wealthy families had occasional house parties, suppers, and other festivities, but dancing was the favorite of all. They would dance for hours during get-togethers. Religious services were held in private homes in early settlements until church buildings started being constructed. Like many homes of colonial America, the size, structure, style, and interior furnishing of the church buildings varied throughout many regions of the country.
The interior of most o
thank you guys for your help!!! you guys are the best. bless you-
ANSWER:
First of all, say "differed vastly" instead of "vastly differentiated." Differentiated means to become different or to make something different; it is an act. Differed means to be different from.In the beginning of the next paragraph, I think you should remove "had." If you just say "evolved," it seems more like you are explaining the process and really drawing the reader into it. And do you mean "location" of the houses? I'm not sure exactly if that is the right word. Do you mean the style of the houses evolved due to the climate or that the locations specifically were chosen due to the climate? "Those who came from salubrious climate" should be pluralized as "climates." That just looks like you made a typo, maybe.
"Most distinctive" would make more sense as "most distinct." "Distinctive" doesn't tend to be used with "most." It's not incorrect as far as I know, but it just seems redundant to me. In the same paragraph you also say "the houses" plural and then say "the house" singular. It's best to stick with one grammatical number. So say "the house" or "the houses," and don't switch, or it sounds less academic and credible.
"Despite all the time working hard labor" is also a bit redundant. "Working and labor" mean the same thing, so maybe find a way to revise that sentence so you only include one of those words. You could say "Despite spending much of their time on hard labor, the early colonists ..." etc.
Put a comman before "racing" when you list the games. Without the comma it seems like you're saying their skills are racing, swimming and wrestling, not that those are the games that test their skills.
As far as how to finish it, I'm not sure. What is your thesis? What are you trying to say overall? You have moved away from architecture in the last paragraph, so maybe find a way to link it all back together with a summary. Like say "The people of colonial times led multi-layered, often amusing lives, but their lives were not without hardship. Surviving (maybe list various climate elements, such as winter?) was difficult and their home structures reflected their need to be sheltered. The European settlers' homes were also expressions of the building styles of their homelands.Something like that. I mean, I just wrote that quickly so it's not worded well, but I mean, just go over all the points you made and try to bring them all together. You need to unify everything.
Thanks for the interesting information; I learned some stuff!
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QUESTION:
Is my story pretty good so far?
I walked across the pavement steps, my dark green bag slipping a little off my shoulder. I climbed the first, second, third step, up onto the patio. I looked around. There was a porch swing made of wood, looking fresh and new. Suddenly, the big door opened before me. A woman with blonde hair pulled back into a side braid and crystal blue eyes opened the door. She smiled widely and said,
"Welcome, Evageline! I'm Mrs. Hensbrook but you can call me Maya. I'm Kori and Tara's mom. I hope you will feel at home here, because this is your new home. Let me show you to your room" Maya led me toward a brown and white staircase. I walked up it, but tripped near the top step.
" Oh no! Are you okay? Let me help you up." She took me by one arm but I jerked it away. I stood up and glared at her.
" I'm so sorry. I didn't know you would-"
" It's fine." I said :I'm fine." She looked at the ground and closed her eyes. When she looked back up, her eyes had tears in them. She sniffled and smiled. A fake smile.
"Well let's go to your room!!" I followed Maya down the hall, my finger tips lightly dancing across the pale green walls. Finally we stopped at the end of the hallway. There were 4 doors. She pointed to the door on the left.
" John and I share this room." She opened the door which led to a room with a tall bed, dark brown bedding and big pillows. It looked very big, fancy, and well, beautiful. She then closed the door and opened a door to another room. This one had nothing in it. The walls were white, and that's all. There were two other doors, a bathroom and a closet I guess.
" This will be your room" She said.
" You will be able to pick the color and furniture in here. So, what color would you like it."
" Black." I answered.
"Excuse me?"
"I said I want it black."
" Well ok..." She sighed. She took out a pad and paper and wrote that down. I explained that I wanted neon splatters on the walls. I also stated that I wanted a king sized bed with a zebra pattern. I said that I wnated an art easel and items to paint and draw with. She wrote everything down. Then Maya whipped out her cell phone, dialed a number and said,
"I need some workers to paint a room black with neon splatters with a king sized bed with zebra stripes as bedding. Also get an art easel with a lot of paper and supplies. This all better be done in 30 MINUTES AT THE MOST!!!!!!!!"
She hung up and put down her phone. Suddenly I heard the front door open. A bunch of men walked in. They painted my walls black and splattered big paint splatters all over the walls. That took about 6 minutes. And then 5 men came in and some other guys came in and they put all the furniture in. When everything was done, it took 25 minutes in all. Wow! Talk about fast! After that I heard the door open and close. A voice said :
" Mom!! We're home!"
"I'm hungry!!" A younger voice said.
A dropping of backpacks, a shuffle of feet up the stairs,and 2 girls appeared in front in me. The odler one had brown hair that was a little longer than shoulder lengt, bright blue eyes, creamy skin, and some freckles on her nose and cheeks. She wore a dark blue jumper, knee socks, and brown uniform shoes. The younger one had a mess of dirty blonde hair and yellow hazel eyes.She had some chocolate on and around her mouth. She had a white shirt on ( which had chocolate on it) and some uniform light brown shorts. She also had knee socks and brown shoes.
" Is this her?" The older one said. She put extra emphasis on "her". Maya nodded and said:
" This is Evageline, girls. Evageline, this is Tara."She pointed to the older one.
" She is in 3rd grade. And this is Kori" She pointed to the younger one.
" She's in 1st grade. And girls, this is Evageline and she is in 4th grade."
"Ahh!" Kori screamed happily. She ran over to me and hugged my taller figure.DETAILS: I am only 10, please no rude comments. And thank you for your answers for names!! I am using a buch of them!!
-
ANSWER:
This is really good! Great job!
Only a few things would need a little editing. For example, spelling and grammar is important (only a few typos). It helps a story flow, actually. Also, when Maya is ordering the furniture for Evangeline, and she demands it is done in thirty minutes, it's recommended that no capital letters should be used. Only one exclamation point, also. So, it would go like this:
Then Maya whipped out her cell phone, dialed a number, and said, "I need some workers to paint a room black with neon splatters and a king sized bed that has bedding with zebra stripes. Also, get an art easel with lots of paper and supplies. This all better be done in thirty minutes, at the most!"
Your words should illustrate that she's yelling. Not CAPS or multiple exclamation points!
All in all, awesome job! You did great! Good job!
-
-
QUESTION:
Decorating My Lime Green Room?
Well me and my little sister switched rooms the other day, because she has a bigger closet, her room is bigger ect. My old room had dark chocolate brown on the bottom half then a white wood line going across the middle and on top of it was cotten candy pink. I painted it that color in 7th grade, and it looks way to young for me. My new bedrooms walls are white and I am thinking about painting them lime green, and having black and white accents. I would have a black comforter, with black and zebra pillows. I found a really cute zebra window curtain, and was thinking that it would look good. I have dark wood furniture also.This would be the color of my walls-
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3621/3435636750_9ab33a1950.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/patio/3435636750/&usg=__swTPyCx4KBl5eA5kf9dM6uRXlWI=&h=500&w=375&sz=93&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=3ERY8HwcqKZRDM:&tbnh=133&tbnw=109&ei=sXc0TeT6G4y6sAOevcSvBQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlime%2Bgreen%2Bwall%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1003%26bih%3D555%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=441&oei=mHc0TanzGMj0gAfY0Yy1Cw&esq=12&page=1&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=51&ty=41This is the color of my furniture-
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.thefurniture.com/store/images/Ashley/bedroom/Larchmont/B442-31.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.thefurniture.com/store/proddetail.asp%3Fprod%3DASHL-SD-LARCHMONT-DRESSER-B442&usg=__mYqd5ucl7LgjjSAkTcFjqJHl_Ao=&h=500&w=650&sz=75&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=l7SZmCdTGaMx3M:&tbnh=156&tbnw=188&ei=pending&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddark%2Bbrown%2Bwood%2Bfurniture%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1003%26bih%3D555%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=244&oei=FHg0TaLINMqSgQeI7-2QCw&esq=6&page=1&ndsp=8&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0&tx=98&ty=82Zebra curtains-
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Zebra-Print-54-x-84-Curtain-Panel-Black-and-Ivory/13968470Comforter-
http://www.target.com/s?keywords=black+comforter+set&searchNodeID=1038576%7C1287991011&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=7&y=15
(The last pic in the 4th row down)
Will this look good??
Thanks!-
ANSWER:
I think so! I LOVE the color and the furniture! My older sister once had those curtains and they looked very good! The comforter isn't my favorite though! Maybe do a zebra print so it can match the curtains!Good luck! HOpe this helped!:)
-
-
QUESTION:
Can someone please help me with these questions so i can check my answers to see if i need to Double check....?
1). In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can correctly say thatA. oak is often used to make ships, while maple is often used for furniture.
B. both maple and oak trees lose their leaves in fall.
C. acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t.
D. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines.2. (1) My family has a quaint cottage at a small, private lake. (2) The cottage is
about 75 years old, but we try to keep it in good condition. (3) The outside is
white with green trim on the windows and shutters. (4) In front of the cottage
is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio. (5) The patio itself is right
next to the water. (6) Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small
rowboat tied. (7) Every summer, my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.What purpose do sentences 3–6 serve in this paragraph?
A. They provide supporting details.
B. They show cause and effect.
C. The illustrate a strong comparison.
D. They explain events in chronological order.
Questions 3 and 4 are based on this passage. The sentences are numbered to help you
answer the questions.(1) Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air? (2) Does nature restore your spirits?
(3) You might want to consider hiking as a hobby. (4) It’s a hobby you can begin
with very little expense. (5) All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.3. The topic sentence in this paragraph is sentence number
A. 1.
B. 2.
C. 3.
D. 4.4. The first sentence in the paragraph helps to _______ the main idea of the paragraph.
A. specify
B. explain
C. delay
D. introduceQuestion 5 is based on this passage.
(1) We can’t imagine the ancient civilization of Egypt without the great Nile River.
(2) Some would even say that Egypt was the gift of the Nile. (3) The Nile is the
world’s longest river. (4) It flows from deep in central Africa to the Nile River Delta
on the Mediterranean Sea. (5) It also has the habit of flooding over its banks once
a year. (6) When this happens, rich silt is deposited along the riverbanks. (7) As a
result, the soil of the Nile Valley is excellent for farming. (8) Without the Nile floods,
it’s unlikely that ancient Egypt would have lasted for thousands of years.5. Which one of the following clue words or group of words gives a hint that an effect
is coming next?A. As a result
B. Some
C. Without
D. Unlikely
6. Which one of the following pieces of writing would you be most likely to believe as true?A. A letter to the editor of a newspaper in which a citizen explains the dangerous
condition of a public building
B. An article on the greenhouse effect written by a Hollywood movie star
C. An article on heart health written by a cardiologist
D. An advertisement you receive in the mail regarding the benefits of a memory pill7. While broadcasting a football game, the announcer exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. Carl
James just scored a touchdown. That’s right; I said Carl James. Even Carl looks as if
he can’t believe it either.” What can you infer from these statements?A. Carl is a player who is popular with the crowd.
B. Carl doesn’t score touchdowns very often.
C. The announcer is prejudiced against Carl.
D. The announcer is happy for Carl.8. “Regular aerobic exercise gives an individual more endurance” is a sentence that shows
cause and effect. Which word indicates the cause?A. Regular
B. Exercise
C. Individual
D. EnduranceQuestions 9 and 10 are based on this passage.
Both Greta and Fred were on the bus that arrived in Pittsburgh. Fred was glad to
be home. He looked forward to visiting with old friends. Greta, on the other hand,
dreaded seeing her old boyfriend. She already missed her days in New York City.9. Which one of the following phrases indicates that a contrast is being made?
A. Already missed
B. On the other hand
C. Looked forward
D. Both Greta and Fred10. What can you most safely infer from the paragraph?
A. Greta hates her old boyfriend.
B. Fred is a friendly person.
C. Fred and Greta are friends.
D. Fred once lived in Pittsburgh.
My answers are:
1).b
2).d
3).c
4).c
5).a
6).c
7).d
8).b
9).b
10).a-
ANSWER:
I agree with most of them but there are a couple than might be worth thinking about.1) b
2) B They provide supporting details about the quaint cottage.
3) c
4) c
5) a
6) c
7) B Even Carl looks as if he can’t believe it either
A Regular ?
9) b
10) B visiting with old friends
-
-
QUESTION:
will you help?
1. In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can say correctly that
a. oak is often used to make ships ,while maple is often used for furniture
b .acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t
c. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines1)My family has a quaint cottage at a small,private lake.2)The cottage is about 75 years old,but we try to keep it in good condition.3)The outside is white with green trim on the windows and shutters.4)In front of the cottage is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio.5)The patio itself is right next to the water.6)Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small rowboat tied.7)Every summer,my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.2. What purpose do sentences 3-6 serve in this paragraph?
a. they show cause and effect
b.the illustrate a strong comparison
c.they explain events in chronological order(Questions 3 and 4 are based on this passage.The sentences are numbered to help you answer the questions.)
1)Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air?2)Does nature restore your spirits?3)You might want to consider hiking as a hobby.4)It’s a hobby you can begin with very little expense.5)All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.
3. The topic sentence in theis paragraph is sentence number
a.2
b.3
c.4-
ANSWER:
This AGAIN??Why are you posting your homework in the gardening section? Homework is for you to do.
But if you're determined to get "help" with it - you might try a "literature" section.
-
-
QUESTION:
plzzzzzzzzzzz help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
1. In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can correctly
say thatA. oak is often used to make ships, while maple is often
used for furniture.
B. both maple and oak trees lose their leaves in the fall.
C. acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t.
D. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines.(1) My family has a quaint cottage at a small, private lake. (2) The cottage is
about 75 years old, but we try to keep it in good condition. (3) The outside is
white with green trim on the windows and shutters. (4) In front of the cottage
is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio. (5) The patio itself is right
next to the water. (6) Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small
rowboat tied. (7) Every summer, my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.2. What purpose do sentences 3–6 serve in this paragraph?
A. They provide supporting details.
B. They show cause and effect.
C. The illustrate a strong comparison.
D. They explain events in chronological order.(1) Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air? (2) Does nature restore your spirits?
(3) You might want to consider hiking as a hobby. (4) It’s a hobby you can begin
with very little expense. (5) All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.3. The topic sentence in this paragraph is sentence number
A. 1. C. 3.
B. 2. D. 4.4. The first sentence in the paragraph helps to _______ the main idea of the paragraph.
A. specify C. delay
B. explain D. introduce(1) We can’t imagine the ancient civilization of Egypt without the great Nile River.
(2) Some would even say that Egypt was the gift of the Nile. (3) The Nile is the
world’s longest river. (4) It flows from deep in central Africa to the Nile River Delta
on the Mediterranean Sea. (5) It also has the habit of flooding over its banks once
a year. (6) When this happens, rich silt is deposited along the riverbanks. (7) As a
result, the soil of the Nile Valley is excellent for farming. (8) Without the Nile floods,
it’s unlikely that ancient Egypt would have lasted for thousands of years.5. Which one of the following clue words or group of words gives a hint that an effect
is coming next?A. As a result C. Without
B. Some D. Unlikely6. Which one of the following pieces of writing would you be most likely to believe as true?
A. A letter to the editor of a newspaper in which a citizen explains the dangerous
condition of a public building
B. An article on the greenhouse effect written by a Hollywood movie star
C. An article on heart health written by a cardiologist
D. An advertisement you receive in the mail regarding the benefits of a memory pill7. While broadcasting a football game, the announcer exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. Carl
James just scored a touchdown. That’s right; I said Carl James. Even Carl looks as if
he can’t believe it either.” What can you infer from these statements?A. Carl is a player who is popular with the crowd.
B. Carl doesn’t score touchdowns very often.
C. The announcer is prejudiced against Carl.
D. The announcer is happy for Carl.8. “Regular aerobic exercise gives an individual more endurance” is a sentence that shows
cause and effect. Which word indicates the cause?A. Regular C. Individual
B. Exercise D. EnduranceBoth Greta and Fred were on the bus that arrived in Pittsburgh. Fred was glad to
be home. He looked forward to visiting with old friends. Greta, on the other hand,
dreaded seeing her old boyfriend. She already missed her days in New York City.9. Which one of the following phrases indicates that a contrast is being made?
A. Already missed C. Looked forward
B. On the other hand D. Both Greta and Fred10. What can you most safely infer from the paragraph?
A. Greta hates her old boyfriend.
B. Fred is a friendly person.
C. Fred and Greta are friends.
D. Fred once lived in Pittsburgh.-
ANSWER:
-
-
QUESTION:
can you answer?
1. In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can say correctly that
a. oak is often used to make ships ,while maple is often used for furniture
b .acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t
c. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines1)My family has a quaint cottage at a small,private lake.2)The cottage is about 75 years old,but we try to keep it in good condition.3)The outside is white with green trim on the windows and shutters.4)In front of the cottage is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio.5)The patio itself is right next to the water.6)Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small rowboat tied.7)Every summer,my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.2. What purpose do sentences 3-6 serve in this paragraph?
a. they show cause and effect
b.the illustrate a strong comparison
c.they explain events in chronological order(Questions 3 and 4 are based on this passage.The sentences are numbered to help you answer the questions.)
1)Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air?2)Does nature restore your spirits?3)You might want to consider hiking as a hobby.4)It’s a hobby you can begin with very little expense.5)All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.
3. The topic sentence in theis paragraph is sentence number
a.2
b.3
c.4-
ANSWER:
I think your in the wrong section.
-
-
QUESTION:
can you answer this?
1. In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can say correctly that
a. oak is often used to make ships ,while maple is often used for furniture
b .acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t
c. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines1)My family has a quaint cottage at a small,private lake.2)The cottage is about 75 years old,but we try to keep it in good condition.3)The outside is white with green trim on the windows and shutters.4)In front of the cottage is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio.5)The patio itself is right next to the water.6)Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small rowboat tied.7)Every summer,my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.2. What purpose do sentences 3-6 serve in this paragraph?
a. they show cause and effect
b.the illustrate a strong comparison
c.they explain events in chronological order(Questions 3 and 4 are based on this passage.The sentences are numbered to help you answer the questions.)
1)Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air?2)Does nature restore your spirits?3)You might want to consider hiking as a hobby.4)It’s a hobby you can begin with very little expense.5)All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.
3. The topic sentence in theis paragraph is sentence number
a.2
b.3
c.4-
ANSWER:
This has nothing to do with gardens and landscaping.
The Muse
-
-
QUESTION:
mom lost book..... plz help!!!!!?
1. In comparing an oak tree with a maple tree, you can correctly
say thatA. oak is often used to make ships, while maple is often
used for furniture.
B. both maple and oak trees lose their leaves in the fall.
C. acorns are good to eat, while maple seeds aren’t.
D. unlike oak roots, maple roots often invade water lines.(1) My family has a quaint cottage at a small, private lake. (2) The cottage is
about 75 years old, but we try to keep it in good condition. (3) The outside is
white with green trim on the windows and shutters. (4) In front of the cottage
is a flagstone walk that leads down to a stone patio. (5) The patio itself is right
next to the water. (6) Out from the patio stretches a dock where we keep a small
rowboat tied. (7) Every summer, my family sets aside a week when we all get
together at the lake for a family vacation/reunion.2. What purpose do sentences 3–6 serve in this paragraph?
A. They provide supporting details.
B. They show cause and effect.
C. The illustrate a strong comparison.
D. They explain events in chronological order.(1) Do you enjoy being out in the fresh air? (2) Does nature restore your spirits?
(3) You might want to consider hiking as a hobby. (4) It’s a hobby you can begin
with very little expense. (5) All you need to start is a good pair of hiking shoes.3. The topic sentence in this paragraph is sentence number
A. 1. C. 3.
B. 2. D. 4.4. The first sentence in the paragraph helps to _______ the main idea of the paragraph.
A. specify C. delay
B. explain D. introduce(1) We can’t imagine the ancient civilization of Egypt without the great Nile River.
(2) Some would even say that Egypt was the gift of the Nile. (3) The Nile is the
world’s longest river. (4) It flows from deep in central Africa to the Nile River Delta
on the Mediterranean Sea. (5) It also has the habit of flooding over its banks once
a year. (6) When this happens, rich silt is deposited along the riverbanks. (7) As a
result, the soil of the Nile Valley is excellent for farming. (8) Without the Nile floods,
it’s unlikely that ancient Egypt would have lasted for thousands of years.5. Which one of the following clue words or group of words gives a hint that an effect
is coming next?A. As a result C. Without
B. Some D. Unlikely6. Which one of the following pieces of writing would you be most likely to believe as true?
A. A letter to the editor of a newspaper in which a citizen explains the dangerous
condition of a public building
B. An article on the greenhouse effect written by a Hollywood movie star
C. An article on heart health written by a cardiologist
D. An advertisement you receive in the mail regarding the benefits of a memory pill7. While broadcasting a football game, the announcer exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. Carl
James just scored a touchdown. That’s right; I said Carl James. Even Carl looks as if
he can’t believe it either.” What can you infer from these statements?A. Carl is a player who is popular with the crowd.
B. Carl doesn’t score touchdowns very often.
C. The announcer is prejudiced against Carl.
D. The announcer is happy for Carl.8. “Regular aerobic exercise gives an individual more endurance” is a sentence that shows
cause and effect. Which word indicates the cause?A. Regular C. Individual
B. Exercise D. EnduranceBoth Greta and Fred were on the bus that arrived in Pittsburgh. Fred was glad to
be home. He looked forward to visiting with old friends. Greta, on the other hand,
dreaded seeing her old boyfriend. She already missed her days in New York City.9. Which one of the following phrases indicates that a contrast is being made?
A. Already missed C. Looked forward
B. On the other hand D. Both Greta and Fred10. What can you most safely infer from the paragraph?
A. Greta hates her old boyfriend.
B. Fred is a friendly person.
C. Fred and Greta are friends.
D. Fred once lived in Pittsburgh.-
ANSWER:
Try these and let me know:
1. A7. D
10. D
-
-
QUESTION:
what ya think of these jokes?
Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to your weirdest friend, just as I have done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with animals, fart in company..... you hang in there sunshine, your f*cking special!!A flasher was heading off on holidays. Just as he was about to board the plane a pretty air hostess was checking tickets. He walked up to her, opened his coat and flashed her. Without blinking the air hostess says 'I'm sorry sir you've to show your ticket here, not your stub.'
Martha lost her husband. She had him cremated, took his ashes home and poured them out on the patio table. Tracing her fingers through them.
'Bob, remember the dishwasher you promised me, I bought it with your insurance money. The car you promised me, bought that too. The diamond ring, bought that too. Bob remember that bl*w job I promised you,here it comes!!'This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 31. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterdayshe was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting eveything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they?
Abdul and Ali are making letter bombs.
Abdul: Do you think I put enough explosive in?
Ali: Open one up and have a look.
Abdul: What if it blows up?
Ali: Don't be stpid, it's not adressed to you!A dad on his way home wants to buy his daughter a Barbie. He stops at a toy syore and notices there is a Shopping Barbie, a Beach Barbieand a Disco Barbie priced at €19.95 but a Divorced Barbie is €265.95. 'Why is this one so much more?' asks the man. The shop assistant replies 'That's because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's computer, Ken's furniture and one of Ken's friends!!'
Teacher asks science class 'What is relative humidity?'. Johnny the traveller answers 'It's the sweat you get on your b*llix when your riding your cousin.'
A guy walks into a bar and buts a pint. Then he takes a photo from his top pocket, looks at it, then puts it back. He repeatedly does this every time he has a pint. After the eight pint the barman asks 'Why do you look at that photo every time you order a pint?'. He replies 'It's a picture of the wife and when she looks good enough to ride I'll go home!!'
Chris Tarrant:
'For €32,000 what is the colour of the hair on your girlfriends v*gina? Is it:
A: Brown B: Red C: Blonde D: Black'
Kerry man: 'Can I phone a friend?'The latest Christmes toy has just hit the shops - a talking Muslim doll. Nobody knows what it says yet because no one has the b*lls to pull the cord!!
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honetmoon suite. Receptionist asks 'Do you have reservations?' Bride replys 'I'm not sure about taking it up the a*se.'
Wife packs case and says to husband 'I'm off to Amsterdam to be a whore getting €400 a ride instead of giving it to you for free'. Husband packs his and says 'I'm going with you. I want to see how your going to survive on €800 a year!'
It goes in dry, it comes out wet.
The longer you leave it in the stronger it gets.
You can have it in bed just you and me.
It's not what you think, it's a cup of tea.Man has €50 note totooed onto his c*ck. His wife asks 'Why have you done that?' He replies, 'For 1, I like to see my money grow. 2, I like to play with my money. 3, I like having money in my hand and last but not least, next time you want to blow fifty quis, you can stay at home to do it!'
Paramedcs attend a nasty accident involving a sports car. When they see the driver screaming in pain they tell him to calm down as at least he was not flung out through the windscreen like his girlfriend. He screamed back 'Have you seen what's in her mouth?????'
A man who was sunbathing on holidays fell asleepand badly burnt his legs. The pain was unbearable so he went to see the doctor for treatment. Doctor took a look at hi legs and said 'This is a small village surgery and I've nothing really to help you but give this a go' and handed the man a Viagra tablet. The man said 'But I've got acute sunburn. What's a Viagra tablet going to do for my sunburn?' 'Basically nothing' said the doctor @but it will help keep the sheets off your legs tonight!'
Woman was helping husband set up their new computer. 'You now have to enter a password'. Husband is feeling randy and tries to hint and shock wife by typing P*NIS. Wife fell off her chair laughingwhen computer replied PASSWORD REJECTED - NOT LONG ENOUGH.
Paddy flying Ryanair into Manchester. The plane is introuble so he calls the tower and says 'Help! Easter Sunday, Pancake Tuesday, Boxing Day!' A voice comes back and says 'Paddy the word you're looking for is f*cking Mayday!!'
To men are at the opposite side of the world but are thinking the exact same thing. One is walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers, the other is having a bl*w job from an 85 yea old woman. What are they both thnking?
Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down!!Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean....... against tables, floors, chairs, walls,and ugly f*ckers. Pass this on to your alcoholic friends as I've done.
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An Essex blond gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy on the field stood by himself while all the other childern are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak o him. 'Are you ok?' she asks. 'Yes he says. 'You can play with the other children you know.' 'It's best I stay here' he says. 'Why?' asks the blonde. The boy says 'Because I'm the goalkeeper'.
Three travellers were knocked down and killed in a Tesco car park today.
Tesco. Every little helps.
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ANSWER:
My friend,I didnt have the patience to read all the jokes.I read nearly all and enjoyed every joke except one or two.Why have you posted so many jokes in a single question?Post each joke separately.
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